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What’s The Best Piece Of Advice You’ve Ever Received?

I remember there was a time as an adult when my self-worth was very low.
Around that time, my father had a number of disagreements with my young son. On one occasion, he had treated my son in a, particularly bad way.

Although at that time I wouldn’t have defended myself against my father, I leapt to the defence of my son. As a mother, I would not allow anybody to hurt my son, I would have fought for him no matter what.

Later on, I was recalling this incident to my counsellor, and to this day I remember myself saying: “I don’t mind being mistreated by my father, but I will never tolerate him doing it to my son.”

And I still, all these years later, clearly recall how my counsellor responded.

She asked me:
“WHY DO YOU THINK THAT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE RESPECTED?”

WOW! How simple and powerful THAT was. I realised then how little value I had for myself. I also deserved to be treated with respect.
It was the most profound AHA moment for me. It changed my life.

THAT WAS THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE I’VE EVER RECEIVED.

This new understanding has significantly helped my life turn out for the better.

Because They Are Our Parents, It Does Not Give Them A Licence To Disrespect Us.

WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE TREATED WITH LOVE, RESPECT AND APPRECIATION.

With all my love
Marzena

Emotions Are the Language Of Our Souls

Emotions Are the Language Of Our Souls.

I love this poem by Rumi. It’s one of the most frequently quoted verses because it describes most beautifully and insightfully the role of emotions in our lives. 

THE GUEST HOUSE – by Rumi translation by Coleman Barks

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,


still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”

Emotions come to our temples (our bodies) for a reason. Somebody once said that they are the language of our souls.

However, from the wisdom of eastern traditions, ‘negative’ emotions are energies which are captured in our bodies.

Those energies have come from unhealed and unresolved childhood wounds.

When we were small and entirely dependent on others (our care-givers), our bodies and the psyche were very malleable and impressionable. The emotional wounds inflicted by them, very often unconsciously or in believing that it was for our own good, got embodied in our physical bodies as energies.

I struggled so much with my emotions; I used to call them the “bad ones” – like anger, hatred, annoyance, envy, jealousy, sadness, despair, loss …

I tried avoiding them, pretended they didn’t exist, but in the long run, nothing worked. The suppressed or avoided emotions would lash out in the moments that I least expected, causing real havoc for both myself and those around me.

But what I learned is that emotions need to be acknowledged, allowed, as Rumi said : “to welcome them as a Guest”.

When you let the storm of emotions be felt, sensed, observed in your body in a non-judgmental way, like bundles of energy, they pass through you and dissipate. The process of feeling and sensing your emotions is called embodiment. It is the most fundamental method for healing your emotional landscape.

It is so empowering when the energies trapped by our emotions are released, which were pent up in the process of suppressing them, and at the same time making a place for ‘a new delight’ (as Rumi said).

Embodiment not only releases you from your childhood emotional wounds, but also gives you the freedom to choose your response instead of subconsciously reacting to your emotions. The freedom to choose our response at any particular moment is called authentic empowerment – conscious living.

When we stop being slaves to our emotions, they don’t trigger any more unconscious reactions from us, and more energy is released and available for a ‘new adventure’.

I invite you to welcome all of your emotions (good and bad ones), feel them, acknowledge them, and create a space for a ‘new delight’.

And who knows what that delight will be? Discover it for yourself!

with love

Marzena

Less Is More

Are you constantly stressed, not having any time to yourself and being soooo exhausted?

This is a very challenging subject, especially nowadays, but I have noticed that many of my clients complain about not having enough time, about being constantly busy, exhausted and stressed.

More money, a bigger house, more time spent at work, more activities, more chores, more friends, more parties, more going out — and so on…

And you end up feeling totally exhausted, unable to enjoy it all, or to spend quality time with your loved ones or with yourself.

And you feel terribly unhappy, rushed, stressed or depleted.

Do you really need more and more?

How about less, but mindfully.

Have you ever wondered why you are doing it all?

What is the point?

Please question everything you believe in, everything you have been taught, especially those thoughts in your head. (To read my blog about thoughts in your head, click here.)

I invite you to tune into your wonderful mind-and-body, and ask yourself a question.

What do I need right now?

Do I need that at all?

Why am I doing it?

Or maybe… who am doing it for?

Just be aware of what you really want or need right now.

And go from there.

Try this new approach: if something does not feel right, then pause, feel it, and let it go.

Do less, sense more, be more aware, mindful.

You will never know what you really want if you don’t start questioning yourself, your actions and your motives.

You might not know the answer right now, but it will definitely come to you at some point.

When you are ready to BE with the question, the answer will unfold itself.

“LIVING THE QUESTIONS

MOVES YOU INTO THE ANSWER.

A MORE MINDFUL, PURPOSE-DRIVEN EXISTENCE.”

-Deepak Chopra

Would it be much better if you were TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, the one you want to live, not a version of somebody else’s life?

You might encounter a lot of resistance from yourself — and especially from others. It may be challenging at first, but it will be worth it.

This way, you can reclaim your authentic power, and start acting from that place of knowing, from that place of integrity.

AND LESS WILL BECOME SO MUCH MORE.

With all my love Mx

Stop Acting So Small – You’re So Magnificent!

Photo by Pixabay

Have you ever wondered how exquisite you are?

Your ability to feel an endless range of emotions – from hatred to love

Your pains, tears and suffering

Your ups and downs, highs and lows

Your successes and failures

Your smiles and laughter

Your beauty, within and without

Your desires and longings

Your creations and destructions

Your loneliness, sadness and melancholy

Your moments of ecstatic joy and overwhelming sadness

In fact, how exquisite we all are?!

Love it all. Your radiant ‘aliveness’ is so intoxicating.

We are all of it, and so much more….

As Rumi (my beloved poet) said:

“STOP ACTING SO SMALL.

YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE IN ECSTATIC MOTION.”

So what are you waiting for?

Admire, love, be in wonder of… WHO YOU ARE!

Remember don’t listen to those self-critical voices, they’re not you.

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

RECLAIM YOUR AUTHENTIC POWER

AND TOGETHER

WE’LL LIGHT UP THE WORLD.

Happy Valentine’s!

And rephrasing lyrics of a song by Ladybird :

“Because I’m gorgeous, I will do anything for ME….”

With all my love ❤️
Marzena

P.S. I’d love to hear from you. I’m curious if something resonated or spoke to you.

Why Do You Like Helping Others?

Photo by Artem Bali

Why do you like helping others? Have you ever wondered?

This question might sound very strange to you, but it’s valid.

I invite you to ask yourself the following:

“Why do I like helping others?”, and ponder on it. Notice how you, your body and mind react.

Some reasons you want to help others might be:

  • You feel guilty if you don’t help them.
  • You want something back in return.
  • It will make you feel important.
  • You want people to need you.
  • You are afraid of saying NO.
  • You want to avoid working on your own problems.
  • You are running away from something.
  • You want others to be dependent upon you.
  • You don’t know when to stop and let them learn how to resolve their own problems.
  • You are afraid of them.

Do any of the above resonate with you? Maybe helping others at all cost is not what is needed.

Caring about others needs to come from the place of being FULLY FULFILLED YOURSELF. Giving without expecting something in return, without any tag attached to helping.

Helping others requires discernment; what does the other person really need right now?

Is it possible that by helping them we don’t allow them to grow, to learn their own lessons in life?

“NEVER GIVE FROM THE DEPTH OF YOUR WELL,

BUT FROM YOUR OVERFLOW”

 – RUMI

Automatically saying ‘Yes’ to helping others can cause more harm than good – both to yourself, and to them.

I remember my adult son asking me for help, and I refused him. It definitely wasn’t easy. My heart was breaking, but I knew that it was the best decision, the only one I could have made at that moment. Believe me, it would have been much easier to have helped him, but I had to say NO because I could see that he needed to take responsibility for his actions. Me helping him would have had a detrimental consequence for him.

“TAKE TIME OFF TO GIVE TO YOURSELF,

 IN A SENSE TO FILL YOURSELF UP TO FULLNESS,

TO WHERE NOW YOU CAN OVERFLOW IN GIVING.”

–  JOHN GRAY

I invite you to consider:

What kind of help, if any, is required?

Or

Do I have the capacity to give at this given moment? Maybe I need to look after myself now?

With all my love,

Marzena

Don’t Believe Your Thoughts.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova

Do you hear those discouraging, critical thoughts in your head?

I used to. The judgemental voices in my head were saying things like:

  • Why did you do it again?
  • You should have known better!
  • Don’t even try it, …
  • Girls don’t do that …
  • It’s your fault …
  • You don’t deserve it …

To name but a few!

I still recognise those thoughts. They were haunting me for as long as I could remember.

Listening to those voices created a lot of pain and anguish in my life, damaged many of my relationships, and often self-sabotaged my efforts.

Those thoughts unconsciously controlled me, and in many ways influenced my actions. 

They were whispering words of doubts, criticism, low self-esteem and victimhood.

You might be wondering where those thoughts come from.

Those voices in our heads come from people who were very important to us, our significant others (e.g. parents, teachers or people in authority) when we were small and easily influenced.

Those thoughts, as Freud would say, are our parental voices, our super-ego, that ‘keep us in line’. They are ensuring what our significant others would have wanted us to do, or projected on us their own fears and insecurities.

I still hear them, but I don’t believe them anymore.

And this is the SECRET.

DON’T BELIEVE your THOUGHTS.

When we become aware of those thoughts and start noticing them, we begin to understand that they are only thoughts in our heads – and only then do they lose their power to control us.

When we become aware of them, then we can decide how to respond. We are empowered.

“Most people are other people.

Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions,

their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” – Oscar Wilde

Those thoughts are not you, and neither are those critical voices. THE REAL YOU IS LOVING, CONSIDERATE AND ALL-ENCOMPASSING.

I invite you to start paying attention to those thoughts, noticing them, being aware of them.

They are only thoughts – don’t believe them.

By realising that they are not you, these negative thoughts will lose their tight hold over you.

At first, it might be difficult, but it gets easier. Practice makes it better.

And……

Please don’t get angry with yourself when, from time to time, you allow them to control you. This is a slow and conscious process of retraining our mind and re-educating ourselves.

But it is sooo worth it…

WHEN YOU STOP BELIEVING THOSE THOUGHTS, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE MORE JOY, FREEDOM, COURAGE, SATISFACTION AND CREATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE.

Eckhart Tolle said:

“ ’What freedom is?’

 Is to realise that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am.

‘Who am I, then?’

 The one who sees that. ”

With all my love ❤️
Marzena

Why Do You Still Resist Your Radiant Inner Beauty?

Why is it so wrong to admire yourself?
Why have we been taught that appreciating yourself is wrong?

There are 7 billion people on this planet, and each one of them is unique, one of a kind, distinctive, with different qualities, talents and abilities.

DON’T YOU THINK THAT THIS IS A MIRACLE WORTH ADMIRATION?

You are unique; they are unique, all of us are unique. Isn’t this enough reason to admire your own inner beauty and excellence.

It isn’t wrong to be self-appreciating instead of self-deprecating, but society prefers false humbleness, pseudo-humility.

Don’t allow others to tell you what and how to feel about yourself, to define you. Don’t allow them to project their own fears and insecurities onto you.

Self-appreciation and self-love are so much needed for our emotional wellbeing.

Don’t tolerate others bullying you into their own restricted, limited vision of you.

Don’t accept others putting you down, making you small.
You are not small; you are unique, excellent, magnificent.

When you admire yourself, you can then begin to admire others as well.
Admiration is an appreciation of gifts, talents and inner beauty.

And this is how you need to start living your life.
The more of us that re-discover our radiant inner beauty, the better place the world becomes.

With all my love,
Marzena