Why do you like helping others? Have you ever wondered?
This question might sound very strange to you, but it’s valid.
I invite you to ask yourself the following:
“Why do I like helping others?”, and ponder on it. Notice how you, your body and mind react.
Some reasons you want to help others might be:
- You feel guilty if you don’t help them.
- You want something back in return.
- It will make you feel important.
- You want people to need you.
- You are afraid of saying NO.
- You want to avoid working on your own problems.
- You are running away from something.
- You want others to be dependent upon you.
- You don’t know when to stop and let them learn how to resolve their own problems.
- You are afraid of them.
Do any of the above resonate with you? Maybe helping others at all cost is not what is needed.
Caring about others needs to come from the place of being FULLY FULFILLED YOURSELF. Giving without expecting something in return, without any tag attached to helping.
Helping others requires discernment; what does the other person really need right now?
Is it possible that by helping them we don’t allow them to grow, to learn their own lessons in life?
“NEVER GIVE FROM THE DEPTH OF YOUR WELL,
BUT FROM YOUR OVERFLOW”
Automatically saying ‘Yes’ to helping others can cause more harm than good – both to yourself, and to them.
I remember my adult son asking me for help, and I refused him. It definitely wasn’t easy. My heart was breaking, but I knew that it was the best decision, the only one I could have made at that moment. Believe me, it would have been much easier to have helped him, but I had to say NO because I could see that he needed to take responsibility for his actions. Me helping him would have had a detrimental consequence for him.
“TAKE TIME OFF TO GIVE TO YOURSELF,
IN A SENSE TO FILL YOURSELF UP TO FULLNESS,
TO WHERE NOW YOU CAN OVERFLOW IN GIVING.”
– JOHN GRAY
I invite you to consider:
What kind of help, if any, is required?
Do I have the capacity to give at this given moment? Maybe I need to look after myself now?
With all my love,