Do you hear those discouraging, critical thoughts in your head?
I used to. The judgemental voices in my head were saying things like:
- Why did you do it again?
- You should have known better!
- Don’t even try it, …
- Girls don’t do that …
- It’s your fault …
- You don’t deserve it …
To name but a few!
I still recognise those thoughts. They were haunting me for as long as I could remember.
Listening to those voices created a lot of pain and anguish in my life, damaged many of my relationships, and often self-sabotaged my efforts.
Those thoughts unconsciously controlled me, and in many ways influenced my actions.
They were whispering words of doubts, criticism, low self-esteem and victimhood.
You might be wondering where those thoughts come from.
Those voices in our heads come from people who were very important to us, our significant others (e.g. parents, teachers or people in authority) when we were small and easily influenced.
Those thoughts, as Freud would say, are our parental voices, our super-ego, that ‘keep us in line’. They are ensuring what our significant others would have wanted us to do, or projected on us their own fears and insecurities.
I still hear them, but I don’t believe them anymore.
And this is the SECRET.
DON’T BELIEVE your THOUGHTS.
When we become aware of those thoughts and start noticing them, we begin to understand that they are only thoughts in our heads – and only then do they lose their power to control us.
When we become aware of them, then we can decide how to respond. We are empowered.
“Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions,
their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” – Oscar Wilde
Those thoughts are not you, and neither are those critical voices. THE REAL YOU IS LOVING, CONSIDERATE AND ALL-ENCOMPASSING.
I invite you to start paying attention to those thoughts, noticing them, being aware of them.
They are only thoughts – don’t believe them.
By realising that they are not you, these negative thoughts will lose their tight hold over you.
At first, it might be difficult, but it gets easier. Practice makes it better.
Please don’t get angry with yourself when, from time to time, you allow them to control you. This is a slow and conscious process of retraining our mind and re-educating ourselves.
But it is sooo worth it…
WHEN YOU STOP BELIEVING THOSE THOUGHTS, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE MORE JOY, FREEDOM, COURAGE, SATISFACTION AND CREATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE.
Eckhart Tolle said:
“ ’What freedom is?’
Is to realise that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am.
‘Who am I, then?’
The one who sees that. ”
With all my love ❤️