Emotional Awareness

What’s The Best Piece Of Advice You’ve Ever Received?

I remember there was a time as an adult when my self-worth was very low.
Around that time, my father had a number of disagreements with my young son. On one occasion, he had treated my son in a, particularly bad way.

Although at that time I wouldn’t have defended myself against my father, I leapt to the defence of my son. As a mother, I would not allow anybody to hurt my son, I would have fought for him no matter what.

Later on, I was recalling this incident to my counsellor, and to this day I remember myself saying: “I don’t mind being mistreated by my father, but I will never tolerate him doing it to my son.”

And I still, all these years later, clearly recall how my counsellor responded.

She asked me:
“WHY DO YOU THINK THAT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE RESPECTED?”

WOW! How simple and powerful THAT was. I realised then how little value I had for myself. I also deserved to be treated with respect.
It was the most profound AHA moment for me. It changed my life.

THAT WAS THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE I’VE EVER RECEIVED.

This new understanding has significantly helped my life turn out for the better.

Because They Are Our Parents, It Does Not Give Them A Licence To Disrespect Us.

WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE TREATED WITH LOVE, RESPECT AND APPRECIATION.

With all my love
Marzena

Emotions Are the Language Of Our Souls

Emotions Are the Language Of Our Souls.

I love this poem by Rumi. It’s one of the most frequently quoted verses because it describes most beautifully and insightfully the role of emotions in our lives. 

THE GUEST HOUSE – by Rumi translation by Coleman Barks

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,


still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”

Emotions come to our temples (our bodies) for a reason. Somebody once said that they are the language of our souls.

However, from the wisdom of eastern traditions, ‘negative’ emotions are energies which are captured in our bodies.

Those energies have come from unhealed and unresolved childhood wounds.

When we were small and entirely dependent on others (our care-givers), our bodies and the psyche were very malleable and impressionable. The emotional wounds inflicted by them, very often unconsciously or in believing that it was for our own good, got embodied in our physical bodies as energies.

I struggled so much with my emotions; I used to call them the “bad ones” – like anger, hatred, annoyance, envy, jealousy, sadness, despair, loss …

I tried avoiding them, pretended they didn’t exist, but in the long run, nothing worked. The suppressed or avoided emotions would lash out in the moments that I least expected, causing real havoc for both myself and those around me.

But what I learned is that emotions need to be acknowledged, allowed, as Rumi said : “to welcome them as a Guest”.

When you let the storm of emotions be felt, sensed, observed in your body in a non-judgmental way, like bundles of energy, they pass through you and dissipate. The process of feeling and sensing your emotions is called embodiment. It is the most fundamental method for healing your emotional landscape.

It is so empowering when the energies trapped by our emotions are released, which were pent up in the process of suppressing them, and at the same time making a place for ‘a new delight’ (as Rumi said).

Embodiment not only releases you from your childhood emotional wounds, but also gives you the freedom to choose your response instead of subconsciously reacting to your emotions. The freedom to choose our response at any particular moment is called authentic empowerment – conscious living.

When we stop being slaves to our emotions, they don’t trigger any more unconscious reactions from us, and more energy is released and available for a ‘new adventure’.

I invite you to welcome all of your emotions (good and bad ones), feel them, acknowledge them, and create a space for a ‘new delight’.

And who knows what that delight will be? Discover it for yourself!

with love

Marzena

Stop Acting So Small – You’re So Magnificent!

Photo by Pixabay

Have you ever wondered how exquisite you are?

Your ability to feel an endless range of emotions – from hatred to love

Your pains, tears and suffering

Your ups and downs, highs and lows

Your successes and failures

Your smiles and laughter

Your beauty, within and without

Your desires and longings

Your creations and destructions

Your loneliness, sadness and melancholy

Your moments of ecstatic joy and overwhelming sadness

In fact, how exquisite we all are?!

Love it all. Your radiant ‘aliveness’ is so intoxicating.

We are all of it, and so much more….

As Rumi (my beloved poet) said:

“STOP ACTING SO SMALL.

YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE IN ECSTATIC MOTION.”

So what are you waiting for?

Admire, love, be in wonder of… WHO YOU ARE!

Remember don’t listen to those self-critical voices, they’re not you.

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

RECLAIM YOUR AUTHENTIC POWER

AND TOGETHER

WE’LL LIGHT UP THE WORLD.

Happy Valentine’s!

And rephrasing lyrics of a song by Ladybird :

“Because I’m gorgeous, I will do anything for ME….”

With all my love ❤️
Marzena

P.S. I’d love to hear from you. I’m curious if something resonated or spoke to you.

Why Do You Still Resist Your Radiant Inner Beauty?

Why is it so wrong to admire yourself?
Why have we been taught that appreciating yourself is wrong?

There are 7 billion people on this planet, and each one of them is unique, one of a kind, distinctive, with different qualities, talents and abilities.

DON’T YOU THINK THAT THIS IS A MIRACLE WORTH ADMIRATION?

You are unique; they are unique, all of us are unique. Isn’t this enough reason to admire your own inner beauty and excellence.

It isn’t wrong to be self-appreciating instead of self-deprecating, but society prefers false humbleness, pseudo-humility.

Don’t allow others to tell you what and how to feel about yourself, to define you. Don’t allow them to project their own fears and insecurities onto you.

Self-appreciation and self-love are so much needed for our emotional wellbeing.

Don’t tolerate others bullying you into their own restricted, limited vision of you.

Don’t accept others putting you down, making you small.
You are not small; you are unique, excellent, magnificent.

When you admire yourself, you can then begin to admire others as well.
Admiration is an appreciation of gifts, talents and inner beauty.

And this is how you need to start living your life.
The more of us that re-discover our radiant inner beauty, the better place the world becomes.

With all my love,
Marzena

How Are You Feeling After Christmas?

Photo by Matheus Bertelli

How was this Christmas for you?

Have you made the right decision about where you want to be, with whom, and for how long?

Have you just survived? Or have you had a fabulous time?

If you’ve had a fabulous time – that’s wonderful!

Celebrate that, your experiences, your relationships. And cultivate those relationships.

However, if you are happy that Christmas is over  …

Or

You have just survived and are depleted, tired and thinking “thank god I still have a few days to recover”.

then you need to be aware of how you feel and what you need.

Those questions are very important.

What do I need?

How do I feel?

It is very probable that you have never asked yourself those questions. That you’ve lived your whole life as others wanted you to – fulfilling other’s expectations.

If so, you are not in tune with your own internal compass, your own feelings, needs and wants, because nobody ever taught you.

You were taught to comply with what your parents wanted, society expected or your partner liked and so on.

But how about you?

What do you need right now?  

THE MORE OFTEN YOU ASK YOURSELF THOSE QUESTIONS, THE MORE YOU WILL BE IN TUNE WITH YOUR INTERNAL COMPASS AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT YOUR NEEDS ARE.

THE MORE YOU WILL KNOW WHEN TO SAY YES AND WHEN TO SAY NO.

Now is the time to contemplate on this, to reflect., to feel your body.

How does your body respond to those questions?

Your body is your entry gate to your inner world. You need to bypass your mind, as your mind is so preconditioned with what others want you to do that it would not know your true answer.

Your body has its own wisdom, so tap into it.

And now I invite you to contemplate the following:

  • How do I need to look after myself?
  • What do I need to do less or more of?

or

  • My needs and emotions matter.
  • I need some space and that’s ok.
  • I need time for myself, it does not mean that I am weird.
  • Because I don’t like everyone you do, it does not mean that there is something wrong with me…

And please add some more below…

With all my love

Marzena

Your Innate Wisdom And Intelligence

Emotions like hatred, anger, envy, jealousy, irritation, rage and vengefulness are not bad; they have a function to play. They are informing us about the state of our internal world.

They are our allies. They have been designed by our innate intelligence to warn us if things are going out of balance.

It’s like a pain in your body. Your body sends you the pain sensation to let you know that something is malfunctioning, that you need to take care of some part of your body. It’s a protective, warning system.

Your body has innate wisdom, intelligence beyond your wildest imagination. This wisdom always strives for balance and harmony. Your body is self-healing. What’s more, you don’t need to know anything about it.

Your cognitive function is not involved in this process. Every second of your life, there are millions of chemical reactions taking place in your body simultaneously, and you have no idea how your system self-regulates.

For me, this is the highest order of wisdom and intelligence. If this magnificent body sends you any signals that something is out of whack – you need to listen!

And of course, when we abuse our bodies with food, alcohol, drugs or excessive stress, we are damaging the self-healing system, and our bodies struggle to correct/self-heal themselves.

In this desperate attempt to get your attention, your body sends you signals like pain (physical, or/and emotional). This could mean that things have moved on so much that you need to stop, listen and make changes to your behaviour.
Our body informs us that it is stressed, overloaded, overworked.

Therefore, you need to be grateful for all these messages, including emotional responses such as anger, rage, fear – it means that your system is out of balance and you need to attend to its needs.

Your emotions are your allies, and you need to get to know them so that you can respond to the cry of your innate intelligence.

I am still in awe of how our body’s intelligence and our divine wisdom work together for the betterment of humanity.

So yes, emotions are an essential part of our being.

With all my love
Marzena

Emotions are a double-edged sword.

Feeling your emotions is essential to your wellbeing, but if you suppress them, not only can you not feel anything else, but they gain strength and power, and they will explode one way or the other and probably in the most undesirable situation.

Throughout my life, I have been taught to suppress my emotions.

From a very early age, my narcissistic mother taught me that any expression of anger and disappointment as a child was not going to be tolerated by her. I recall an incident when I was around five years old when she punished me by not talking to me for days, completely ignoring me. I just wanted my mummy to love me. I begged her forgiveness and cried myself to sleep for days.

I needed her love, approval and acceptance so much, as every child does. I had learned my first and “most important lesson” in life is to never express my anger or disagreement, and from that early age to be compliant, an obedient little girl who would never disagree with her mother.

Can you imagine how my life turned out when I was bottling it all up for years, not allowing myself to feel anything? I was so terrified of being punished when expressing my emotions.

But the day came when I met this wonderful, loving, caring man. Can you imagine what then happened? All those pent up emotions just exploded. I loved him so dearly, but I was a real b***h to him. The rage was spilling all over me. I could not control myself or my emotions. I was like a possessed woman, seething with anger.

Things got so bad that I knew if I continued like this, I would lose him. We started counselling together, and as a result, it became evident that I needed to do something about my uncontrollable anger.

So there I was, my suppressed emotions had finally caught up with me. I started dealing with them at that point.

The only way for me not to explode during frequent self-provoked arguments, was to go out. Going out for looong loooong walks was the way I was processing all those feeling, sensing them, slowly letting them pass, and most of all acknowledging them with all my being. The long walks saved me and my relationship. It was a very long and painful process, to allow myself to feel all that pain inside me.

Each time, it was extremely difficult to pull myself away from the heat of the moment. It was like there was an internal power to continue my barrage of abuse, my raging arguments. It’s difficult to explain, but pulling away was a real struggle. I just knew that this was necessary in order to start processing everything that was going on inside me. To deal with all of my emotions with love, compassion and understanding.

There were a lot of tears. I am sure that the passers-by were thinking that I was a madwoman, as I was very often sobbing uncontrollably. But those loving, self-embracing walks saved me and my wonderful relationship.

And this is the only way. If you want to have a loving, happy life and fulfilling relationships you need to deal with all your baggage. You need to be vulnerable, brave, courageous and loving to hold this space for yourself, to allow processing all of the anguish, pain and disappointment accumulated during your lifetime.

The emotions will not bite you, and they are there to be felt, acknowledged with love, compassion and gentleness. Allow them to come to the light of your awareness, sense them, but without trying to get rid of them. Let them just be, in love and tenderness.

Please let me know your thoughts and experiences on how you deal / have dealt with your emotions.

With all my love

Marzena