And When The Night Comes…

During the day, we get extremely busy trying to avoid our emotions. We find a lot of activities to make ourselves SOOOO busy, so we don’t have to deal with them. This way we pretend that they don’t exist, but deep down inside we really know they won’t go away.

But then the DREADED night comes, and we can’t escape them anymore.

There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, and…

Emotions keep us AWAKE all night.

Anxiety, fear, dread, worry will not let us sleep.

When we don’t allow ourselves to feel them during the day, they creep up and demand our attention at night. 

We can’t sleep, and we feel irritated because we know we need to sleep.

But sleep won’t come. The more we try to sleep and fail to do so, the more frustrated we become and the loop of exasperation continues, round and round…

Do you know how this feels?

I do!

This is what I do when I get overwhelmed by my emotions at night:

  • I get up. I don’t stay in bed because it only perpetuates anxiety and frustration.
  • I make myself a cup of herbal tea, wrap myself in a warm blanket and contemplate.
  • I actually love these peaceful, quiet moments, when everybody is asleep. The world itself is sleeping, and I can watch and listen to what is going on inside my body and mind.
  • Everything looks so much more peaceful, and I would even say beautiful, kind of enchanting maybe. Sometimes I stay in that meditative state for an hour or two, and afterwards, the body and the mind get quieter, more peaceful, and I’m ready to sleep.

Be gentle and kind to yourself – especially now, because these are exceptional times, and we have never had to encounter anything like this before.

If you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, fed up and angry with what is going on:

That is also OK. That’s how you feel right now.

You are managing the best you can at this moment.

Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Rest, be, allow yourself some comfort, love, attention and acceptance.

If you need some tips on how to nourish yourself, please click here to read my blog on this : https://marzenapenfold.com/what-can-you-do-to-nourish-yourself-today/

And when you are ready to acknowledge your emotion, I invite you to also read this blog : https://marzenapenfold.com/emotions-are-the-language-of-our-souls/

And remember

BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

With all my love ❤️
Marzena

What Can You Do To Nourish Yourself TODAY?

In light of recent developments, when we are surrounded with so much change and uncertainty, we need, more than ever, to find ways of looking after ourselves.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Again — I’m stating the obvious — You’re your main priority. If you don’t look after yourself, you will not be able to help others in need, especially at the moment.

2. I sincerely encourage you to limit the amount of TV and social media. News is designed to create angst, fear and nervousness. Some of us are addicted to news, but it increases your tension and stress levels. By all means, be informed, but if you can limit watching the news and scanning social media to once or twice a day, you will notice a GREAT reduction in your levels of stress.

3. Drink water and eat well. Avoid junk food — it drains your energy further.

4. Give yourself time to rest, to reflect, and nourish.

Read, meditate, do yoga, gardening, journaling, listening to music, drawing, painting, etc.

It is a perfect time to go inside yourself, to be more aware. Spend some time recharging yourself, to create a self-healing, soothing and nurturing environment.

5. Exercise, move your body — this is ESSENTIAL!! Try a little bit daily to get yourself started. Even just 5–10 minutes a day to start with. This will help to ground you, reduce worry and anguish.

6. Sleep! At least 8 hours a day. Rest as much as your body needs, so you can recharge yourself for the next day.

7. Last but not least: Help others. Call your friends/family, support others who might need you, in whatever way you can. WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER!

Please feel free to share your self-care practices….

With all my love ❤️
Marzena

P.S. I’d love to hear from you. I’m curious if something resonated or spoke to you.

What’s The Best Piece Of Advice You’ve Ever Received?

I remember there was a time as an adult when my self-worth was very low.
Around that time, my father had a number of disagreements with my young son. On one occasion, he had treated my son in a, particularly bad way.

Although at that time I wouldn’t have defended myself against my father, I leapt to the defence of my son. As a mother, I would not allow anybody to hurt my son, I would have fought for him no matter what.

Later on, I was recalling this incident to my counsellor, and to this day I remember myself saying: “I don’t mind being mistreated by my father, but I will never tolerate him doing it to my son.”

And I still, all these years later, clearly recall how my counsellor responded.

She asked me:
“WHY DO YOU THINK THAT YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE RESPECTED?”

WOW! How simple and powerful THAT was. I realised then how little value I had for myself. I also deserved to be treated with respect.
It was the most profound AHA moment for me. It changed my life.

THAT WAS THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE I’VE EVER RECEIVED.

This new understanding has significantly helped my life turn out for the better.

Because They Are Our Parents, It Does Not Give Them A Licence To Disrespect Us.

WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE TREATED WITH LOVE, RESPECT AND APPRECIATION.

With all my love
Marzena

Emotions Are the Language Of Our Souls

Emotions Are the Language Of Our Souls.

I love this poem by Rumi. It’s one of the most frequently quoted verses because it describes most beautifully and insightfully the role of emotions in our lives. 

THE GUEST HOUSE – by Rumi translation by Coleman Barks

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,


still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”

Emotions come to our temples (our bodies) for a reason. Somebody once said that they are the language of our souls.

However, from the wisdom of eastern traditions, ‘negative’ emotions are energies which are captured in our bodies.

Those energies have come from unhealed and unresolved childhood wounds.

When we were small and entirely dependent on others (our care-givers), our bodies and the psyche were very malleable and impressionable. The emotional wounds inflicted by them, very often unconsciously or in believing that it was for our own good, got embodied in our physical bodies as energies.

I struggled so much with my emotions; I used to call them the “bad ones” – like anger, hatred, annoyance, envy, jealousy, sadness, despair, loss …

I tried avoiding them, pretended they didn’t exist, but in the long run, nothing worked. The suppressed or avoided emotions would lash out in the moments that I least expected, causing real havoc for both myself and those around me.

But what I learned is that emotions need to be acknowledged, allowed, as Rumi said : “to welcome them as a Guest”.

When you let the storm of emotions be felt, sensed, observed in your body in a non-judgmental way, like bundles of energy, they pass through you and dissipate. The process of feeling and sensing your emotions is called embodiment. It is the most fundamental method for healing your emotional landscape.

It is so empowering when the energies trapped by our emotions are released, which were pent up in the process of suppressing them, and at the same time making a place for ‘a new delight’ (as Rumi said).

Embodiment not only releases you from your childhood emotional wounds, but also gives you the freedom to choose your response instead of subconsciously reacting to your emotions. The freedom to choose our response at any particular moment is called authentic empowerment – conscious living.

When we stop being slaves to our emotions, they don’t trigger any more unconscious reactions from us, and more energy is released and available for a ‘new adventure’.

I invite you to welcome all of your emotions (good and bad ones), feel them, acknowledge them, and create a space for a ‘new delight’.

And who knows what that delight will be? Discover it for yourself!

with love

Marzena

Less Is More

Are you constantly stressed, not having any time to yourself and being soooo exhausted?

This is a very challenging subject, especially nowadays, but I have noticed that many of my clients complain about not having enough time, about being constantly busy, exhausted and stressed.

More money, a bigger house, more time spent at work, more activities, more chores, more friends, more parties, more going out — and so on…

And you end up feeling totally exhausted, unable to enjoy it all, or to spend quality time with your loved ones or with yourself.

And you feel terribly unhappy, rushed, stressed or depleted.

Do you really need more and more?

How about less, but mindfully.

Have you ever wondered why you are doing it all?

What is the point?

Please question everything you believe in, everything you have been taught, especially those thoughts in your head. (To read my blog about thoughts in your head, click here.)

I invite you to tune into your wonderful mind-and-body, and ask yourself a question.

What do I need right now?

Do I need that at all?

Why am I doing it?

Or maybe… who am doing it for?

Just be aware of what you really want or need right now.

And go from there.

Try this new approach: if something does not feel right, then pause, feel it, and let it go.

Do less, sense more, be more aware, mindful.

You will never know what you really want if you don’t start questioning yourself, your actions and your motives.

You might not know the answer right now, but it will definitely come to you at some point.

When you are ready to BE with the question, the answer will unfold itself.

“LIVING THE QUESTIONS

MOVES YOU INTO THE ANSWER.

A MORE MINDFUL, PURPOSE-DRIVEN EXISTENCE.”

-Deepak Chopra

Would it be much better if you were TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, the one you want to live, not a version of somebody else’s life?

You might encounter a lot of resistance from yourself — and especially from others. It may be challenging at first, but it will be worth it.

This way, you can reclaim your authentic power, and start acting from that place of knowing, from that place of integrity.

AND LESS WILL BECOME SO MUCH MORE.

With all my love Mx

Stop Acting So Small – You’re So Magnificent!

Photo by Pixabay

Have you ever wondered how exquisite you are?

Your ability to feel an endless range of emotions – from hatred to love

Your pains, tears and suffering

Your ups and downs, highs and lows

Your successes and failures

Your smiles and laughter

Your beauty, within and without

Your desires and longings

Your creations and destructions

Your loneliness, sadness and melancholy

Your moments of ecstatic joy and overwhelming sadness

In fact, how exquisite we all are?!

Love it all. Your radiant ‘aliveness’ is so intoxicating.

We are all of it, and so much more….

As Rumi (my beloved poet) said:

“STOP ACTING SO SMALL.

YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE IN ECSTATIC MOTION.”

So what are you waiting for?

Admire, love, be in wonder of… WHO YOU ARE!

Remember don’t listen to those self-critical voices, they’re not you.

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

RECLAIM YOUR AUTHENTIC POWER

AND TOGETHER

WE’LL LIGHT UP THE WORLD.

Happy Valentine’s!

And rephrasing lyrics of a song by Ladybird :

“Because I’m gorgeous, I will do anything for ME….”

With all my love ❤️
Marzena

P.S. I’d love to hear from you. I’m curious if something resonated or spoke to you.

Why Do You Like Helping Others?

Photo by Artem Bali

Why do you like helping others? Have you ever wondered?

This question might sound very strange to you, but it’s valid.

I invite you to ask yourself the following:

“Why do I like helping others?”, and ponder on it. Notice how you, your body and mind react.

Some reasons you want to help others might be:

  • You feel guilty if you don’t help them.
  • You want something back in return.
  • It will make you feel important.
  • You want people to need you.
  • You are afraid of saying NO.
  • You want to avoid working on your own problems.
  • You are running away from something.
  • You want others to be dependent upon you.
  • You don’t know when to stop and let them learn how to resolve their own problems.
  • You are afraid of them.

Do any of the above resonate with you? Maybe helping others at all cost is not what is needed.

Caring about others needs to come from the place of being FULLY FULFILLED YOURSELF. Giving without expecting something in return, without any tag attached to helping.

Helping others requires discernment; what does the other person really need right now?

Is it possible that by helping them we don’t allow them to grow, to learn their own lessons in life?

“NEVER GIVE FROM THE DEPTH OF YOUR WELL,

BUT FROM YOUR OVERFLOW”

 – RUMI

Automatically saying ‘Yes’ to helping others can cause more harm than good – both to yourself, and to them.

I remember my adult son asking me for help, and I refused him. It definitely wasn’t easy. My heart was breaking, but I knew that it was the best decision, the only one I could have made at that moment. Believe me, it would have been much easier to have helped him, but I had to say NO because I could see that he needed to take responsibility for his actions. Me helping him would have had a detrimental consequence for him.

“TAKE TIME OFF TO GIVE TO YOURSELF,

 IN A SENSE TO FILL YOURSELF UP TO FULLNESS,

TO WHERE NOW YOU CAN OVERFLOW IN GIVING.”

–  JOHN GRAY

I invite you to consider:

What kind of help, if any, is required?

Or

Do I have the capacity to give at this given moment? Maybe I need to look after myself now?

With all my love,

Marzena